When Nationals Park first opened, the team made a fairly big deal of the stadium's supposed Wi-Fi capability.  I bet lots of fans counted on it, too.  In this workaholic town, the notion of bringing a laptop with you to the ballyard, sitting someplace safe from Clint batted balls, and getting a little work done was undoubtedly appealing to many fans.

But here we are, well into season two at Nats Park, and...no Wi-Fi.  Many friends and colleagues have noted the absence of this functionality, made only more noteworthy by the team's promise of its ready availability.

I have an opinion about what they should do.  (Surprise surprise, right?)  You know all those new apartment and condo buildings near the stadium?  Almost all of them struck a deal with Verizon FIOS for internet service.  While FIOS is well known to many suburban fans, where it has been available for some time, those of us in the District are drooling over interested in non-Comcastic possibilities, to say the bare minimum.

What if the team struck a deal to put up some Verizon ads on the Big Green Parking Garage Ad Spaces (over which I have previously agonized), and made an announcement in between two given innings to the effect of, "Ultra fast Wi-Fi brought to you by Verizon FIOS"?  That gives Verizon a stronger foothold in DC, helps fans achieve the wireless internet they need, and allows the team to uphold their promise.  Sound fair?

Other brief notes:

--Bob Carpenter is almost literally a brand new person now that he's been paired with Rob Dibble.  It's like he actually loves the game again!  Listen closely to his manner and tone; it's a lot different from last season.

--The Mets have to acknowledge that the Nationals are the team that has their number.  You know how in baseball, one inferior team consistently beats (or at least gives trouble to) a superior opponent?  That's our relationship with the Metropolitans, especially given the treatment we've given them down the home stretch more than once.

--You have to give the Nats one thing: they can put gruesome performances behind them and rally the next day.  Saturday's affair was simply grotesque, while Sunday's effort was consistent and successful.  Now...can they string a few curly W's together every now and again?

      

By now, we're all familiar with Stan Kasten's precious little invite to Phillies fans.  But what about the fallout?

I receive Google news alerts via e-mail with articles or stories that mention the Nats.  As you can imagine, my Monday morning has been even more sterling than usual, thanks to headlines that basically read "EPA Considers Superfund Dollars for Franchise Cleanup" or "Even Obama Wants No Part of This Toxic Asset" and things like that.  It's been just lovely.

But something more has come of these alerts.  Our nearby neighbors, both in Baltimore and Philly, have seen our wounded body lying prone on the ground and are now walking running over to kick it.  This is essentially what Stan asked for; after all, he insinuated that we can't fill out own park and attempted to get our dander up by inviting (blech!) Philadelphians to stop by and say bite me hello.  After all, we would never allow that to happen, right?  We would all rise up and support the ballclub and those poor Philly fans would be left standing outside the stadium, all dressed up like Chase Utley with no place to go.

Well, we all know how that will turn out.  Nationals fans will figure, "Well, the team's terrible, the weather's not so great, and I already had a chance to check out the stadium last season.  I'll pass."  Whereas Philly fans will say, "A chance to see our boys with only a two hour drive each way?  Sign me up!"

I know you're fully capable of clicking on those links yourselves, but I have to take note of a couple specific quotes that made me feel like my lower intestine was being ripped out through my nostrils:

"Kasten should be applauded for his bold vision and truth-telling. He sees the D.C. fans for what they are - inferior."..."If you're going down to the game, enjoy yourself. While you're there, maybe you could show the locals we mean them no harm and befriend a few Nats fans. If you can find any."..."They [the Orioles] have the sharp front office and the resulting organization-wide improvement. They have the hot prospect their fans can't wait to see in Matt Wieters (as a bonus, he has proper ID)"... "The Orioles also have the more stable, sensible, focused ownership."

Wow.  I thought that leaving my hometown would diminish the presence of such comments in my life (I'm from Buffalo).  Apparently not.

      

The poet Kenneth Koch, while teaching at Columbia University, was asked how others could mimic his level of success.  Koch replied, “Have some friends who are so good, it scares you.”

So if one improves by surrounding themselves with terrific associates, doesn’t that mean one suffers from the presence of inadequate folks?

To this point, the Nationals rid themselves of the ethically challenged Jose Rijo, and with incredibly good reason.  And now, at long last, Jim Bowden bids farewell.  JimBow’s decision making fallacies have been well chronicled here and elsewhere.  I won’t bother to reformulate those points, since no one wants hackneyed cliches from a guy who thinks this constitutes a quality breakfast and this belongs on the top shelf.

But I digress.  Could anyone seriously have argued that the consistently successful Stan Kasten thought Jim Bowden was so good it scared him?  Was Stan so awestruck by JimBow’s overall baseball prowess that he thought Bowden could've gotten the club where it wants and needs to go?

It's troubling that the team didn't fire Bowden for cause earlier.  After all, lots of terrible general managers get canned simply because they put losing teams on the field, and that's without the federalis investigating them for allegedly taking just a little off the top.

But now it's time to move on, and I’ve got just the man for the job. After all, he was recently praised for his superb work in cleaning up after JimBow's egregious mess, which may stretch back further than any of us originally imagined.

It’s time to put this scene into motion: Rizzo at the forefront, and Bowden as a fading image in the background.  And then, maybe our friends can scare the NL East…instead of us.